Snoring Jokes

Just a couple weeks later we were invited over to the other families house for a Party and the subject of the conversation some how got on the topic of snoring, well before the other Lady thought about what she was saying she Blurted out “You haven’t Slept until You’ve Slept with Dan” So I finally got the chance to redeem my self and tell her “That’s What All The Women Say”.

“You’ve got to have a room somewhere,” he pleaded.

“I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, ‘Goodnight, beautiful,’ and he sat up all night watching me.” - To stop the snoring before it starts.

If you believe I may be snoring, the proper action is to make sure I am entirely comfortable, and then maybe I’ll stop. Woman: The snoring was horrible, you try sleeping next to him.

Snoring affects persons of all ages, but particularly middle aged and older persons. It is estimated that over 50% of adult males and 30% of adult females may be affected by snoring.

The manager was impressed. “No problem with the other guy snoring, then?” Patient : Doctor, as soon as I fall asleep I start snoring? Doctor : Is your snoring loud?

The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog’s testicles, and he will stop snoring.

Woman: Yes, yes I did. Woman: The snoring was horrible, you try sleeping next to him.

The sort of person we most commonly see with heavy snoring and sleep apnoea is a middle-aged man who is overweight with a big neck, taking a size 17 inch collar or more. Many people with sleep apnoea are not particularly overweight and in some we simply do not understand why they have sleep apnoea. Doctors who are interested in sleep related breathing disorders and run sleep clinics can see a very wide variety of abnormalities ranging from life threatening problems to simple bad habits! In this article we will consider normal sleep patterns together with snoring, sleep related breathing disorders and the condition called obstructive sleep apnoea. In terms of sheer numbers, there are probably more suffers from daytime sleepiness as a result of snoring than as a result of obstructive sleep apnoea. There is a strong correlation between snoring and daytime sleepiness as a result of the sleep fragmentation caused by snoring alone without obstructive sleep apnoea. There are many other symptoms, as one might expect in someone who is seriously sleep deprived, but the twin symptoms of snoring and daytime sleepiness are the best pointers to the diagnosis. This gives rise to a fluttering of the throat tissues producing sounds which we recognise as snoring. Should you encounter problems then contact the British Snoring & Sleep Apnoea Association which keeps a record of all sleep centres in the UK and can advise you of your nearest centre and how to seek referral. Sleep apnoea and heavy snoring, severe enough to interfere with sleep quality, is much more common than generally realised.

Snoring, excessive daytime sleepiness, early morning headache and poor concentration should alert patient and doctor alike.